Lonely hearts better than empty wallets

Columns Opinion

Avoiding the bombs on V-Day

JackieJackie Charniga
Editor in Chief

Watching fireworks on a blanket on the fourth of July, hugging your knees. Standing underneath mistletoe. Looking around at the stroke of midnight on New Years and feeling less like Cinderella than you’d hoped.

Holidays can seem like a cruel joke to the singles, crushing them beneath the tradition of expectation and casting them adrift in their social stigmas. The worst offender of all the holidays is predictable, and so close around the corner you can already hear the poorly-written sonnets and the crunch of candy hearts.

There’s a reason it’s called ‘Singles Awareness Day’.

On Valentine’s Day, one of the most garishly over-commercialized holidays, it is best to avoid the devastation of being caught in the herd of people struggling to make this day significant.

It would take less time to walk to my destination blindfolded than to drive in the ice and snow during the greater part of rush hour on D-Day. Oh, my mistake. V-Day.

More so infuriating is the human traffic, which is worse than the actual traffic because one experiences it closely and within earshot. The human traffic in restaurants, movie theatres, stores, and drugstores are overwhelmingly at their highs, featuring a range of personality types best avoided under all circumstances: hopeless romantics, stressed-out paramours, the singles who just want to celebrate themselves (which I support, though is sort of escaping the purpose of the holiday. Any reason to buy candy, I suppose), the people who forgot the date and are making up for it at the last second, etcetera.

The influence of the media has negated most cultural significance of the holiday and turned it from a celebration of affection and mating ritual into an obscene comparison of affection and belonging. For with the child who compares how many toys he got at Christmas, so will the teenage girl flaunt her Valentines.

As with things of this nature, competition and comparison will begin. Couples that are just starting out will feel the pressure of conformity and expectation weigh down heavily wherever they go this month. Comfortable couples will begin to overanalyze the lack of spontaneity in their own relationships and feel unhappy. Those who are single feel pressured to either be entirely happy with their relationship status, or feel miserable for being alone.

There are few times in life where disaster is certain. Oncoming storms can be predicted, and prepared for accordingly. To most, Valentine’s Day is an oncoming storm which we are given ample time to prepare for. It is within one’s best interest to stay out of the storm.

I don’t mean sitting alone in the dark, eating an entire Jets pizza watching Ellen dance around and wondering why people consider being single an “adventure”. Get it together. Love yourself. Be happy.