Ophiuchus rises


NASA discovers lost Zodiac sign

By Quinn Storm, News Editor

NASA, in a fashion similar to when they declared Pluto not a planet and heartbreak ensued, have announced that there are, in fact, thirteen zodiac signs instead of twelve. As one can imagine, this newfound information has devastated the astrology community. Unlike the announcement of Pluto’s return status as a dwarf planet, this disappointing information doesn’t seem to have a rebuttal in the near future.
Admittedly, this isn’t all NASA’s fault. Thousands of years ago when the Babylonians created the zodiac signs they just left one out because there were 13 and the yearly calendar only had 12 months. So obviously, just ignoring one sign was the only option they had. In addition to this left out information, NASA argues that the axis of the Earth has shifted during those years, which makes the original zodiac calendar out of date anyway.
The new dates are off by quite a bit- reasonably so, though, since the sun aligns with Ophiuchus for a whole 18 days out of the year. This means everyone’s dates will, most likely, have changed. For certain lucky people though, their lives and perceptions of themselves don’t have to change because their birthdate was unaffected. These new dates are as follows:
Capricorn: January 20 – February 16
Aquarius: February 16 – March 11
Pisces: March 11 – April 18
Aries: April 18 – May 13
Taurus: May 13 – June 21
Gemini: June 21- July 20
Cancer: July 20 – August 10
Leo: August 10 – September 16
Virgo: September 16 – October 30
Libra: October 30 – November 23
Scorpio: November 23 – 29
Ophiuchus: November 29 – December 17
Sagittarius: December 17 – January 20
According to zodiac-signs.org, a website all about horoscopes and personalities, people born under Ophiuchus are happy, humorous, truthful, honest, intellectual, clever, free-spirited, instinctive, charismatic, creative, driven, competitive and secretive. All these traits sound fabulous, but the negative ones almost contradict them. Those born under Ophiuchus are also said to be polygamous, jealous, judgmental, irresponsible, restless, temperamental and procrastinates often. Depending on which side of the person one sees, an Ophiuchus could be the best or the worst person one knows.
Even though it’s understandable that NASA has to do their job and point out flaws in theory, math and science that those before us didn’t catch, it would almost be appreciated more if they didn’t mess up the whole astrology aspect of science. For decades so many people have been basing their thoughts and opinions of others and themselves on what their sign is. Whether or not everyone believes in it isn’t the point; it can really train wreck a person who thought they were a Taurus one day and the next day is suddenly an Aries. Perhaps this is bitterness talking, but this new star sign is really flipping the world upside down.